Happy Birthday Gage!

Happy Birthday Gage!!

March 17, 2003

9 lbs. 1 oz (ouch!)

Gage is my nephew, Jesse's cousin.  Today is his birthday and he is six years old. He has not been able to stop talking about this day for weeks.  His mom gave him a new "dirt" bike that just blew him away this morning and made him want to skip breakfast just to ride at 7:30. He will be opening the rest of his presents this evening at his special dinner...  but he hardly noticed they were there with all the excitement about the bike... Since his birthday is on St. Patricks Day, each year he wears a crisp new Old Navy St. Patty's day t-shirt... It's his special birthday attire.. He will be having a big birthday bash when Alex arrives this friday..  He can't wait.

Gage is an amazing kid.  He is sweet and funny and smart. He has more street smarts than your average 20 year old...  He's all boy when it comes to outdoor activities.  He would rather be outside playing on something dangerous than doing anything else in the world.. He could care less about the weather or temperature.  He loves all things remote control... He's tough, and rugged and a natural when it comes to things all boy and the ultimate "cool"...

Gage is not only Jesse's cousin, but also a true friend..  He loves Jesse so much and Jess loves him.  They live together and get along fabulous.  It's really amazing that they don't argue like other siblings.  They really do have a great time and compliment each other very well.. Jesse brings Gage indoors to do more structured activities, and Gage drags Jesse outside for some good old fashion fun, which Jess needs so much.  When Jesse had Chemo, Gage was first in line to not only bring him gifts, play games and make him feel better... but to also shave his head and go bald for his best friend.  A gesture that was not only noble, but was the only way Jesse was comfortable without hair. Jesse could not have gone through the last six months without Gage by his side to help him feel better and lift his spirits.

He is fiercely loyal and loves his people.  He has had some tough times, but has managed to come through them with strength, compassion and understanding.  Alot for a 6 year old little boy.  He misses his sister Markelle and talks about her often.  His bond with Mikalie is like none other and recently commented that he would like to marry Adrienne...  Although she is beautiful, I'm not sure that will work out... but I'm not surprised he feels that way.. His group is small, but with Gage, once you are in, you're in and he will remember you and love you forever.

Happy Birthday my handsome blond friend!!  I love you and cherish every day with you.  Thank you for loving Jesse unconditionally...  even when he bosses you around (which is daily). Our family would not be the same without you.  You make us laugh everyday, your wisdom is profound and you shock us with your ability to understand the world.  

Have the best day ever little man!!  

Jesse to the rescue!

Yesterday Steve and I went to the doctor with Jesse...  We were told (very unceremoniously) that Jesse didn't have cancer anymore...  Now, you would think information like that would make me the happiest gal on the planet.. and I was, believe me... but I was very overwhelmed because I suddenly realized that it's not really ever going to be over... They will only concede to "over for now"...  without saying it, I felt like the message was.. "Don't stop stressing"...  not exactly what I was hoping for..  So needless to say my emotions were a bit mixed..

I try not to cry for reasons I can't explain, but as any woman knows, sometimes it just happens.. but I was really trying to suppress the MAJOR explosion that was inside me..  for Jesse and for Steve, who, for all good intentions doesn't really know what to do if I can't identify the problem..  Let me just say that I was doing a great job of keeping the tears at bay at least until I could get home to the privacy of my own bathroom or something... until...

I dropped Steve back at work and was cutting through a neighborhood on my way home to avoid a major intersection and the traffic that comes with it...  when I looked in my rearview mirror and notice that I was being pulled over... by a police man...  on a motorcycle..  

Let me just point out that I have been pulled over two other times in my life... I'm a very good, somewhat overly cautious driver.. so just seeing the lights was a bit unnerving.. but I knew I didn't do anything too awful, so I wasn't worried.. He walked up as I was rolling my window down... (so was Jesse by the way)  and asked me if I was aware that you needed to actually stop the car when you see a stop sign... not just slow down...  I answered truthfully.. "I don't really remember the stop sign, or what I did when I saw it..."   Probably not the best answer I could come up with...  but there it was..  Jesse on the other hand was ready to get to know the guy...  "Hi!... are you a policeman?...  are you on a motorcycle?... " He actually made the guy laugh right off..  

He asked me the usual question... "may I see your drivers license, registration and proof of insurance please?"  I managed to pull it all together and hand him the documents without much emotion at all....  he asked if we just recently moved to Oregon.. (because I still have a Utah license and registration) and before I could answer, Jesse chimed in...  "We moved here in June"... oh man.... I just nodded..  This is when he made a very big mistake.. he asked me "Is there a reason you have not got in to changed your license?"....

Well... The tears didn't just start flowing....  they were projectile flowing...  I went from completely dry to no contact lenses in about 1.5 seconds... and started spilling my guts...  while wild stories came rushing out of my mouth, in between sobs... the little voice in my head was saying...  Pull it together girl... this is not what he meant...  this is really cliché... how about whipping out a little cleavage too.. . could you BE more embarrassing??  I was rambling the whole story and crying the blues like I was sitting in front of a shrink..  I'm telling you... It was the most humiliating moment of my entire life but I simply couldn't stop...  It just kept coming.. Finally I was able to spit out that I wasn't crying because he pulled me over, as if that was important information... although I think he didn't believe me...  he took that opportunity to say "just give me a moment"...  and he basically sprinted back to his bike...  

You would think that at this point I could take the chance to compose myself... nawww..  not me, I just kept on sobbing and sobbing..  Poor Jesse, this is what I was trying to avoid him seeing.. He kept saying... "Mom... what did you do?... I'm sure it's going to be okay"..  When the officer finally came back to the car...  Jesse immediately started engaging him in conversation.. The guy had stickers and tattoos for Jess and started chatting him up about the good news of the day and asking him about his transplant and having a great bonding time...  then, he just looked at me and said... "okay, no ticket, but get this junk taken care of... and remember those little red signs at the intersection are there for a reason..."  I was sort of expecting him to ask me if I needed an escort home..  

For Jess... It was the highlight of his day and he was very excited to see a real live police man in the line of his noble work...  For me?  I'm going to study the Oregon drivers license manual... right after I schedule a paint job for my car and color my hair so that this officer doesn't stalk me as the crazy lady with the not-so-sick kid.. 

Oh, and I'm going to cancel the appointment with my shrink... I don't think I need it anymore.. ;o)

The Caring Cabin

( I love this picture because it shows how great his new hair is...)

Well... We are home from the coast.  It was beautiful there.  The weather was cold, and on Sunday very rainy, but we were able to get some good outside time in and really enjoyed ourselves.  The little boys did not want to come home.  The house was a literal dream home.. Something Ty Pennington and crew must have consulted on.  It was big and had windows everywhere and a huge fire place with a fully stocked kitchen.  A great computer for Mikalie and video games for the boys.  The garage was converted to a playroom with pool, air-hockey, karaoke, a curtian for dress-up and puppet shows, outside toys of every kind and so much inside stuff we couldn't get to it all.  It was truly amazing  for both kids and adults.  There was even a playground outside...  

We arrived Friday evening just after dark.  The directions were good, but "Betty" my GPS was a bit confused by the small town of Pacific City... so we basically got lost..  The directions said we were one place, Betty said something else... The boys in the back seat began to get a little nervous about having to sleep in the truck.. but a short time later, we figured it out.  My one regret for the weekend, was that we didn't work it out to arrive at 10:00 am, which was the time we could have check in...

The CCA (Children's Cancer Assoc.) had a quilt for Jesse, two stones with his name carved into them and a disposable camera waiting on the table for us when we arrived. The stones were really cool, one we placed along the path to the lake along with other stones from previous guests, the other was for us to bring home.  It was really nice for us to talk with Jesse about what the stones meant and to be able to leave a part of us behind.

Saturday we hung out at the beach.  It was a bit cool and windy, but still so much fun.  The kids climbed a VERY steep sand dune, flew a kite, dug in the sand and even waded in the surf a little bit.  We had lunch and watched the waves.  This was Gage's first time at the beach.  He loved it!  He had sand EVERYWHERE when we left...  even his eye's, ears and mouth...  Then we headed back to the house and played and played and played.. The kids had the best day and were very tired at bed time...

On Sunday it was very rainy, so we packed up the kids and headed an hour south to Newport where they have a great aquarium.  We had a really good time there.  The kids touched string rays and star fish and really enjoyed the otter feeding.  We had lunch at Mo's....  A great little seafood dive on the coast.

The rest of Sunday we sat around the fire, put a puzzle together and listened to the rain come down.  The kids were even mellow by this time... That never happens in our family.  It was a very peaceful time.

Monday, the rains stopped and sun even peaked out for a bit...  We placed Jesse's rock and the kids went for a boat ride on the lake.  It was a lot of fun for the little boys and Mikalie too.  She tried her hand at a Kayak and did a great job.  Saying good bye was hard because we had such a great time at the Caring Cabin.  On the way home we stopped at the Tillamook Cheese Factory...  sort of cheesy thing to do, but they had great ice cream and super gift shop... 

Having Cancer really sucks... but I am continually amazed at the extent some people will go to help children who are sick.  This cabin was made possible by people who donated tens of thousands of dollars just so families like ours would have a place to go to escape the sadness for a few days.  We loved it as a mini-vacation, but I'm sure other families use it as a place to make one last terrific memory when the end is near for their kids... I"m glad that is not us, but grateful it is available to those who need it..